Dear Mark Bittman,
I love you. I really do. You’re a nice Jewish boy who frequently pays homage to your grandmother in your old Minimalist videos. I agree with your opinions on food, you’re popular and social-media savvy, and while I’ve never tasted your food made by you, I have both licked my computer screen and tried to recreate what you’ve made; both very delicious.
So why, why did you do this to me? I respect you so much. I listened to you as you raved about your amazing chicken on MSNBC and clearly alerted your audience that it would only take about two hours to make the most magnificent contemporary roasted chicken of our lives.
So I tried it. I “butchered” the 4 pound Trader Joe chicken taking it apart step-by-step saving every last piece so as not to be wasteful. I proceeded to take off the skin and heat it in the oven for thirty minutes to make “Chicken skin croutons" or as one commenter pointed out, “don't you mean gribenes” (thank you fred red bank from New Jersey). I then made homemade “quick chicken stock,” cleverly adding one more cup of water to make more stock to be used at a later date (any ideas for what?)!
That’s when things went horribly wrong. My poor gribenes (I prefer this term, as it hides what this product actually is) started to drip past the drip pan causing a big ole mess in the oven which I needed to clean setting me back a half hour. Then my paranoia started to set in as I pondered whether I was properly handling raw chicken and cleaning all my utensils.
The chicken has finally gone into the oven, which is step 4/5 and I am exhausted.
Stay tuned to gather whether this was worth the ordeal. It already smells good, so who knows?
TO BE CONTINUED...
*photo c/o New York Times